Wonder why I am talking about the Husband today? Consider this oft repeated quote by Sheryl Sandberg, author of Lean In

“The most important career choice you’ll make is who you marry”

So the idea is to discuss different ‘types’ of husbands(Not all are mine, but those I have come across:). Let’s try figure out at the end what type would help our career goals. So, here goes:

1. The Terminator

I will marry you if you quit your job and not work. You can do whatever else you want.

Yes, they still exist. This is a true story.  Someone(In the interest of anonymity and offending none) I knew was getting married. It was an arranged marriage, and he said this was his only ‘condition’. And the girl agreed the very next day.  Her family had looked on the ‘alliance’ as an amazing opportunity: a boy with degrees from India’s finest colleges with great prospects.  It took me a long time to wrap my head around it. At 22, a girl had decided to never take up an ‘outside’ job ever. ????#@&#*(@^$*.

2. The Richie-Rich

Why bother working so hard?

This kind has a lot of money or atleast enough. Some of it inherited and the idea is: When we have more than enough money, why strain so much? Just do something to keep yourself occupied.

In some ways, this might be the ideal life, maybe the woman can pursue work in a field with less stress yet more enjoyable to her. But in terms of achieving something with your life, it might not always be the most conducive environment for success.

3. The Indifferent

If you want to work you work. If you don’t want to work, don’t. As long as you can take care of the children and the household and manage all your other work. I won’t stand in the way of your dreams. 

Need I say more?

4. The ‘MAN’ in the Working Couple

In this type of family, a two person income is essential to run the household. They have the loans and mouths to feed. Once the husband returns home, he relaxes for the day. The wife brings the groceries on the way back, cooks, feeds, cleans and takes care of the family.

5. The 50-50 Partner

This man realizes that both of you have dreams and ambitions. He can move across the country for your job if you cannot. He thinks parenting and chores at home are the responsibility of both. He also thinks making money for the family falls on both of you. Home & financial responsibilities can be split according to the stages in life and career.

6. The ‘Entitled’

And there are those who do not want to do a thing. They sit on the couch and watch tv all day, or try a few get-rich-quick schemes. Neither do they want to take responsibility at home or at work. They want to spend for their needs(including alcohol) and they believe it is the responsibility of the world to take care of them.

Intentionally, I have restricted myself to only the classification and not gone into pros-cons and choices here. That is reserved for a much longer, and more detailed post later.

Have I missed out on any other types? Are you married yet? Which type of husband is ideal for the career of your dreams? 

Husband’s Role In A Women’s Work: #AtoZChallenge
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30 thoughts on “Husband’s Role In A Women’s Work: #AtoZChallenge

  • April 10, 2017 at 11:44 pm
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    My husband is more of the 75-25% type, only he is the 75%. He does more housework, laundry, and even stayed home for five years to raise our children. He is not a typical American male.
    The downside is, most of the decisions rest on me, and sometimes it is nice to have someone else take charge. (Not too often, though).
    Our arrangement works for us, and we are very happy. I could not see myself with any other type.
    Thanks for sharing!

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    • April 11, 2017 at 7:51 am
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      Your husband sounds lovely! I guess the important part is both partners in the couple are allowed to make the choices they want for themselves and their careers.

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  • April 11, 2017 at 11:07 am
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    I could add another one : He who knows it all – There are some husbands who know it all whether it is your job or your housework… He is always ready to give advice and offer dire alternatives if you fail to follow him.

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  • April 11, 2017 at 11:30 am
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    I like my husband not interfering in my work or what i want to do or how i want to do –

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    • April 11, 2017 at 12:31 pm
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      To each her own:) Non-interference, especially in some areas is desirable.

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  • April 11, 2017 at 11:41 am
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    It’s too hard to strike perfect combo. Hope we all can find that perfect combination in early stage of marriage..

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    • April 11, 2017 at 12:16 pm
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      That’s true. With the increase in the number of divorces, it is important to strike a balance between the couple so that it is a pleasure for both.

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      • April 11, 2017 at 12:19 pm
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        But isn’t it that we are loosing our torlarance limits and adjustment skills? We are becoming more and more adamant these days. We can’t​ just demand “my way or no way” all the time. Balance is really important..

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        • April 11, 2017 at 12:23 pm
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          Tolerance limits are definitely lower, in some cases it is for the good(like physical abuse or dowry harassment) and in some cases bad(sight of the first fight or a difference of opinion or traditions). Too much too hope for that everyone in the world becomes more empathetic?

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          • April 11, 2017 at 12:30 pm
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            It’s true, we should not consider intolerance as single level. We should not be tolarant for abuse, and wrong doing. But difference of opinion, yeah there has to be some torlarance. No it’s not too much to hope but only hope won’t be enough. We have to work towards it. Starting from ourselves.

  • April 11, 2017 at 12:15 pm
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    Sad how rare # 5 is, when that should actually be the norm.

    I have two more to add, 1) (and this was very common during our college days): The Career Agency. This type often asked for the bride with a professional degree, usually engineering, with the aim that he would “get her a job.” I really don’t know if he was husband material or HR material! 2) the mansplainer or the trivia guy: who likes to show off about how much he knows about things. Usually things that don’t even matter. He’ll take any opportunity to “educate” you about these things as well.

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    • April 11, 2017 at 12:19 pm
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      I would like to believe #5 is slowly rising, a union were both have their rights and choices. Optimists always have hope. And I have come across an “HR material” or 2, mostly sons of businessmen.

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    • April 11, 2017 at 12:24 pm
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      Mr. Practical I guess? My husband is more on the practical side too, and me the emotional one.. So I guess we balance each other at the end.

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    • April 11, 2017 at 4:58 pm
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      Haha:) A wand would be handy in many cases I guess:)

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  • April 11, 2017 at 4:45 pm
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    Interesting post. Never really tried to classify them like this. If I ever get married, it would probably be to a number 5 (Partnership type)… though the percentage could vary from time to time.Sadly, such men are rare in India.
    Glad to find you during this challenge!
    Happy AtoZing!
    Chicky @ http://www.mysteriouskaddu.com

    Reply
    • April 11, 2017 at 4:59 pm
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      Let’s hope there are more of them in the next couple of generations, for the sake of our daughters!

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  • April 11, 2017 at 5:26 pm
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    A great post on types Namrata. Fun to read

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  • April 11, 2017 at 11:04 pm
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    Interesting classification and yes, have seen all these types around me. Wish we had more of 50-50 partners though.

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  • April 12, 2017 at 9:11 pm
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    Fascinating post. I think my ex husband was the Richie Rich. Writing was what I was going to do with my life but then the children came along and became my career.

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    • April 22, 2017 at 10:48 pm
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      Glad you could pursue your dream and turn it into a career. As I said there are those advantages of the Richie rich:)

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  • April 22, 2017 at 9:08 pm
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    The different couples and husbands…you have expressed it so well with the richie richie types and conditions attached. It’s so ridiculous in today’s time. Marriage is a 50-50 partnership that makes it a success. Kudos for leaving no stone unturned.

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  • April 22, 2017 at 10:47 pm
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    Thanks Vishal. Most of these ideas are from real-life examples who I have encountered at some point. Couples come in all shapes and sizes.. 🙂

    Reply

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